Ice Ages Not Dark Ages

World history students across the nation love the Middle Ages. They won't call that time between the Roman Empire and the Renaissance the "Dark Ages." To them, the knights and the castles are far too romantic to warrant such a dismal moniker.

For 15-year olds enamored with swashbuckling and jousting, even The Plague can be reframed as a worthy adversary to be tracked and slain like the mythical dragon. Each boy imagines himself as the virtuous knight most capable of such a task. And the girls look dreamily on, oblivious to the real implications of chastity belts, and hoping that lessons in chivalry will lead to an invitation to the Prom.

Even Monty Python can't disuade them. But Search for the Holy Grail is probably the truest portrayal of the times ever conceived. "Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!" ("I'm not dead yet." Whack to the head. "Now you are.").

Perhaps you know that historically London streets are the width of two arms and two bed pans. Each morning, housekeepers and women of the house would carry chamber pots to the edge of the street, reach as far as they were able, and empty the contents into the road so that the waste could be flattened by a cart like the one collecting the dead in The Holy Grail.

Truly, it was a dark time. And filthy. Brits didn't believe in washing; water seemed to be a source of ill-health, and likely was, at least in the cities. Instead, women wore flea bags, animal pelts hung from the waist and tucked into the pleats of a lady's skirt. Flea bags were meant to attract fleas and other pests away from the human.

It is continually amazing to me that Europe plunged from the glory of the ancient empires to darkness, hopelessness, illiteracy, filth, hunger, poverty and disease of the Dark Ages within generations. Ancient knowledge and wisdom was lost to memory and had to be rekindled centuries later.

We know it can happen. And we even know some of the reasons why. Humans are notorious forgetters. And stress actually speeds up our forgetting. So what's going to happen in the event of cataclysmic climate changes? What will we forget?

What is it that keeps us out of the darkness of the Dark Ages? What do we know, what are we able to do, what do we value that brings light to our world?

And how might we intentionally save our collective wisdom and skills? How do we keep ourselves out of the mud, out of the ignorance, and taking baths instead of hanging flea bags?

As long as we're connected to the internet and able to spend an odd Friday night at Barnes and Noble, we're good. But what happens when the lights go dark and the ice gobbles up our infrastructure.

Will we be prepared to remember at that time? Click Here to weigh in! Take a 9-question InnerNeanderthal survey and let us know what's needed to keep the Dark Ages romantic and interesting, and well in the past!

Personal Habits Reveal Our True Humanity

I am not one to judge personal habits. As faithful readers know, I have a certain commitment to brushing my teeth. Given a choice between a toothbrush and almost anything else, I'm choosing the toothbrush.

Some might say it's an obsessive thing with me. Okay. If you went through 7th grade entirely unable to brush your teeth, you'd be scrubbing and spitting right along side me! And you'd join me in saying, "Nurse your neuroses first!"

After all, neuroses are a giant distraction, even when survival of the species is in the balance.

And so, deeply felt kudos to the clever Inner Neanderthal reader who is prepared to clip his toenails from here to eternity!

That's right! When taking the Inner Neanderthal What to Pack in the Event of an Ice Age survey, one faithful reader has selected from among all the possibilities out there, a knife. Actually, many readers have prioritized a knife. But when this particular reader answered the question, "Why would you prioritize the item you selected?" he said: "Then I can always keep my toenails clipped."

Clearly, we Inner Neanderthals will be a well groomed lot as we transition to an entirely new and different climate. According to the survey we will collectively have a toothbrush, flush toilets, tampons and clipped toenails!

Personally, I think this is good news.

We've already proved that we're a smart and responsible crowd. We are helping to save the environment, but we know that even if we all quit our carbon hogging today the climate will still continue to change until the greenhouse gases we've already produced break down and disappear. So we're thinking about tomorrow as well. Contmeplating how we take the best of what humanity has created and learned and carry it into an uncertain future.

Want to weigh in? Grab a toothbrush and Click Here to take survey !

Toothbrush or tampons? Knife or gun? What do you think?

What do flush toilets, tampons, and all the ammo I can carry have in common?

InnerNeanderthal readers say they would pack these items first in the event of an ice age or other climatic catastrophe.

How about you? What is it that you'd want to have in the event of an ice age? And what would you want to make sure humankind remembers if our weather changes everything?

For the past year I've made a habit of asking people these questions. It's led to some amazing conversations! Now it's your turn to weigh in. Take this quick 9-question survey. Click Here to take survey

Then help everyone you know to embrace their inner neanderthal by sharing the link.

Thanks!

Wild Things

So here's an interesting thing: it only takes a generation for domestic pigs to devolve into wild beasts. That's right, let Wilbur off the farm and he's going to sprout tusks and an aggressive attitude in no time at all.

As a result, some people wonder whether pigs are really domesticated. News flash: those hideous creatures are big, stinky cannibals. And, as Steinbeck so eloquently described, they will eat small humans as well. Any questions?

What about us? How many generations would it take us humans to devolve?

If we were separated from our domestic bliss, sent out into the wild by the vagaries of flood or drought or ice age, I doubt we'd sprout tusks or ape-arms (although the way men sprout whiskers between dawn and dusk, I kind of wonder what else might be in the DNA). But what part of our civility and civilization might we leave behind?

We humans are notorious forgetters. We needed the whole Renaissance to remember things that we apparently knew during the rise of the Greek Nation State. What would our world be like if we forgot modern medicine? Or agriculture? Or art?

What would we be like--as individuals and as a collective? Will future anthropologists and historians look back on as and see barbarian apes or wild pigs? Or will they have cause to see us as humanitarian?

And do we have any say in the matter?

I think we do...how about you?

Random Mutant Sex

Back in the day, random mutant sex was the only known pathway to evolution.

Or, maybe it was more like random mutation passed on through sex. But still...the science got the religious right hot and bothered!

Today's science is still a little bothersome. For one thing, gene mapping says that Neanderthals were not "early man." As it turns out humans and Neanderthals are not the same species although we both have more than 95% of our genes in common with chimpanzees. I don't really get how we can both be that closely related to chimps and yet not related to each other.

What does this new science mean for this new century?

Old school: when environmental pressure is extreme, the fittest survive by mutating at random. Then, when the survivors procreate, they open the one and only window of possibility for passing along their adaptation. After about a gazillion generations, if the mutation has proven its usefulness, then the survivors have "adapted" and evolution has marched forward.

Hip school: environmental pressures act on our biochemistry on a moment to moment basis, triggering the proteins in our cells to express and replicate genes. Under stress, our hormones actually cause unexpressed genes to become an active part of our make-up. And as far as we know, once our dormant genes awake, there is no turning back the clock. We pass our adaptations along to our offspring, and small, permanent changes take place in one generation.

So how about it, how should we adapt in the face of global warming, which promises flood, drought, famine, ice, snow, drought, and famine. What changes do we need to evolve into being?

Given a choice, what biological change would you make in yourself (or the species as a whole) to ensure our survival, (keeping in mind that random mutant sex will still be required to keep the species moving forward)?

Midnight Meeting, Carbon Hogs Anonymous

Welcome to the midnight meeting of Carbon Hogs Anonymous! I'm NeanderGirl, and I am a carbon hog. I gobble up carbon despite my best intentions and commitments. I am powerless.

Carbon Hogs Anonymous is based on the classic 12-step model. And as you undoubtedly know (unless you happen to be signing in from the one glorious place on earth where addiction does not permeate food, drink, sex, shopping and all things human) the first step in the 12-step model is admitting that you are powerless.

Today was a lesson in powerlessness for me.

I was fortunate enough to see His Holiness the Dalai Lama speak on the topic of compassion. When asked, "How do you and how might we remain hopeful?" the Dalai Lama first suggested that we might be convinced by the media that the world is made of pain and suffering. However, if we look past the nightly news , to "the whole condition of six billion human beings," we will realize the world is actually "getting better."

This should be our source of hope. Specifically, we should be hopeful because the idea of human rights did not even exist--not really--at the beginning of the 20th century, but today that idea is nearly universal.

He went on to say, however, that the world is suffering from two very real problems: global warming and overpopulation. These alone require our attention because of their significance and implications for the whole condition of all six billion human beings on earth.

To me, this perspective put carbon hogging into perspective.

Even while the Dalai Lama was answering this question, a small plane buzzed the open air stadium, dragging along a banner that read: "Dalai Lama Pls Stop Supporting Riots." It had circled the stadium throughout the program, referencing recent Chinese suppression of monks in Tibet, and reminding the world that the Chinese goal is to end the Dalai Lama's influence over his own people.

And yet, the Dalai Lama said, the real problems of the day--those that require our genuine concern--are global warming and overpopulation.

It made me want to be better, even as I gathered up my plastic water bottle (no outside drinks are allowed in the stadium, and the inside vendors use plastic) and headed out to the bus for the long drive home. Clearly, I am powerless despite my intentions and commitments. I am a carbon hog.

Happily, powerlessness in the face of excrutiating compulsion is far removed from blame. So, we won't be doing any blaming here...no discussion of Hummer drivers or corporate greed or even the relationship between Dick Cheney and gas prices. No, we have much more important work to do.

According to the American Psychological Association (and reported by Wikipedia), the 12-steps can be summarized as:

• admitting that one cannot control one's addiction or compulsion;
• recognizing a greater power that can give strength;
• examining past errors with the help of a sponsor (experienced member);
• making amends for these errors;
• learning to live a new life with a new code of behavior;
• helping others that suffer from the same addictions or compulsions.

It's time for us really to learn to live a new life with a new code of behavior and to help one another out of carbon hogging as we transition to a new hotter--or colder--life.

We have a few moments left with life as we know it. It really is time to figure out what we love and respect and need for life.

And we need to carry that forward. For, as the Dalai Lama remarked: "Not only humans, but other mammals survive and grow totally dependent on others. This is a biological condition." Our power rests in how we support, nurture and care for one another, including those who will come in the future.

Supported Cognition or How We Forget

While grocery shopping today, I was suddenly overcome with forgetfulness. I'd gathered some fruits and vegetables and hunted down a few cans of this and that before I found myself gazing, rather blankly, at the display of just-add-water potato products (the au gratin potatoes, I will admit, were rather tempting).

Eventually, I wiped the drool from my chin, whipped out my cell phone and texted my husband. "Why am I here? I can't remember."

I threw some completely unnecessary items into the cart while waiting for his reply. (Chocolate cookies! Frozen fruit bars! These could have been my reason for shopping, couldn't they?) "What's that? The ingredients for chicken enchiladas? No problemma!"

I don't know about you, but I text for back up all the time.

My cell phone also doubles as GPS so that I don't get lost, logs me into Wikipedia for my especially stupid moments, delivers my email, and keeps track of my most important contact information. It also performs simple calculations, keeps my calendar and doubles as an alarm clock.

I would be very stupid without my cell phone.

We are all dependent upon "supported cognition" to keep ourselves moving forward in life. Calendars, calculators, computers, even to-do lists are all thinking devices, tools that keep us on track even as they reduce the load on our brains. Without these tools and supports we are much more limited in our capabilities.

We really are like computers with limited RAM; no matter how high our IQ, we can get overwhelmed when we have too much going on. But paradoxically, the more we off-load our cognition--the fancy word for thinking and other brain processes--the more we forget.

Honestly, I used to remember phone numbers like some kind of math genius. I'd make funny little equations or patterns out of them. Nowadays, I don't bother. If I want to be in contact with you, you are in my cell phone...why bother to remember in my puny little brain?

So here's a question: what work is your Inner Neanderthal outsourcing?

Maybe your laptop has completely replaced your ability to write in cursive? Maybe LL Bean makes all your cold weather gear? Maybe Safeway does all your gardening? Maybe your accountant keeps you on the right side of the law? Or perhaps your handy husband keeps nature from reclaiming your house?

Is there anything you're outsourcing that your Inner Neanderthal will want to grab back and preserve in the event of sudden, cataclysmic climate change?

What if you find you've forgotten those essentials? What if everyone you know and trust has forgotten?

It's not a big deal when we blank out in the middle of grocery shopping. But it's undoubtedly a big deal if we have collectively forgotten how to produce food and suddenly find we need to remember.

What do we collectively want and need to make a point of remembering? What ideas, skills and technologies do we want to assure are present in the future? What will ensure the survival of our grandchildren and our grandchildren's grandchildren? What will make their lives sweet, productive, bearable? What will keep them from harm and give them the tools they need to live good, healthy, happy lives?

I often ask people, "What 100 things would you pack for the ice age?" And by that, I really mean what 100 really, really important concepts, skills, ways of knowing, principles, ideas or technologies do you want to make sure get carried along through history? What 100 things, if we left them behind, would surely plunge the world into the Dark Ages?

Obviously, I need a cell phone to keep living the life I've got, but in the event of an ice age, I'd probably start with fire, followed by a toothbrush...Or maybe I'd start with the toothbrush; I've got this little obsession, you see...